People have been wondering why i'm back home in Mississauga. By now a lot of you know my reason for leaving Halifax temporarily. As well, most of you know that i was suppose to leave for London this past Sunday but my stay in Canada is now extended to due my visa situation.  

So it is true, i am taking off to England soon. i decided to take a year off of doing my architecture masters and will be moving to London for a year to work/travel. This was a sudden decision after i came back from my Central America trip which really made me realize just how demanding of my life architecture was. Anyone in the design field would understand when i say "i have no life outside architecture", i truely really had no life. I felt that i had given up so much of myself - my love for traveling, my sports, music, hobbies, interests, social life, church and family life - to trade all of this and move to Halifax to be in architecture school. This term specifically, time in itself was a ticking bomb. I was one of five in my class who had to take a calculus course on top of my already exceeded course limit of 6, with calculus it totaled 7 courses in the span of three months. What made it more difficult and fustrating for me was that i had already taken calculus FOUR times. Each time i was given a pity pass. The class itself took place three times a week at main campus, thus i had to skip out of my architecture classes early to catch a bus up to main campus come back and arrive late into my design studio. i had no time for lunch. My struggle with calculus and juggling it with my core architecture classes proved agony when majoirty of my classmates left studio at 1am, i was always the last person to leave at around 4am daily.

A typical day for me:
Go home to sleep for four hours and rush to the 8:30am class (which i end up most of the time falling asleep in)
go home for a quick nap and lunch break for an hour/half
classes until 6pm
sometimes evening lectures at 7:30-10pm
studio until 4am
go home to sleep, the day begins at 8:30am. 

Repeat daily for 2 years straight at Dal. Not to mention i've already done this 4 years at Waterloo already.
The continuous cycle of sleep deprivation, stress, lack of down time, lack of social existenence, lack of friends outside my program, extreme partying and drinking to relieve builtup stress. The demand to be always creative and produce ingenious thoughts took a toll on me mentally and physically. I just couldn't do any more after 6 years straight of this. Architecture school made it worse and i feel like i've aged so much within the last year. This term after coming back from working in Australia, I was continously hitting the wall day after day being completely fustrated with the intensisty of stress. I realised how unhealthy and dangerous my own lifestyle was to myself that I broke down at the end of the term and knew that if i forced myself to be in school for another 2 yrs continuous, i would probably willingly surrender.

Many times i felt defeated by time as i wasn't able to complete studio deadlines my tutor and i had set for myself. My final project of the term felt like it was half-heartidly finished. In terms of school itself, my 6 months of work experience in Melbourne at the architecture firm taught me something very vaulable. The projects i worked on made me feel so useful in society, that i was making a difference in the world and in people's lives. It was the first time in a very long time that i looked forward to going to work every morning... AND I actually got to work on time!! I loved my work, the country and didn't want to leave, it was perfect. i contemplated seriously with both the director of the firm and my parents about staying in Australia for a year to work and postpone school. In the end i decided it was best to go home and finish school then return after my masters for a longer period of stay.
I didn't want to be in school and felt like i was forcing myself to be there. In addition to the already heavy courseload, i had to take calculas (again!!). Calc took up most of my time and i just felt so burnt out after the term.

i felt disappointed in what i had come back to in Canada. I was dissatisfied with how everyone was so stressed out, workaholics, pestimistic, rude, inconsiderate, lacked of insincerity and even just plain friendliness.   
I realized i had assimulated into the carefree Australian lifestyle and culture; i was surrounded by Australians who indirectly taught me how a carefree, low-stress lifestyle is so important. I adapted to being truthfully honest and genuine, to be optimistic in all things, and that laughter should always and importantlty be present in all situations. i saw myself change from being a really happy and optimistic person after Oz to being (perhaps what i was before...) a stressful negative person. It was hard to adjust back to the mentality of Canadians... but perhaps i didn't want to. At this point i'm just sick of being in uni for 6 years straight (8 yrs straight if i were to keep going), i want my life back. When i returned to school after Oz, i kept asking myself why i left a country that made me feel so at home.

Since i've been back my mind had never stopped wandering. I've been searching, searching for a release to get out of here and be on my own again... to set myself free and just LIVE LIFE; i'm giving myself one year to go out and do what i want. I have a list of goals i want to complete and hopefully i will feel accomplished and return back to Dal and finish my masters.

I have no idea how i will complete some of these outrageous goals but i'm certain as this new chapter begins, i look forward to all the adventures, new learning experiences and great people i will meet in the next 12 months. Yippieeee!! Here we GO!! :)